Hand Picked by Martin Sweeny

Football was never my game you see!
When they picked the team they didn't pick me
Twenty two hand picked, and I was the last
The substitute goalie that sat on the grass

I got a wee game with the guy next door
I could not believe it, I was the first to score
I dribbled it by his wee skinny bad leg
I guess this was my first nutmeg

Then things just went from bad to better
So I bought my self a football sweater
It made me feel like Kenny Dalglish
Big Joe Jordan and Alex Mc Leish

Before you know it I'm in a wee team
I'm super fit and looking quite mean
I'm standing there in front of the crowd
Their cheers for me are getting real loud

They make some noise for a crowd of three
But they’re singing and shouting, just for me
I'm pulled down hard in front of the box
The cries for a "penalty" the stadium rocks

The referee whistles and points at the spot
This is my chance, to put an end to the rot
I dummy the left, and strike with the right
The four-foot goalie just didn't have the height

I could never have known in that crowd of three
A football scout was looking at me
He had me marked for Glasgow Rangers
Playing in front of thousands of strangers

I guess I was lucky or blest you see
Because every loose ball landed at me
A turn of the heel, and a wee clip in
before you know it I'm playing for Breichin

Now the whole world is looking at me
Playing for Scotland, I run and break free
Brazilian defenders try hunting me down
But I come from the bad side of town

Fernandes, Leandro, Tavares, and Bhino
None were a match for big mad Sweeno
I steamed right in breaking arms and legs
Wendel and Ricard were easy nutmegs
With only one guy between the word cup and me
Marcelo the goalie slide tackles me
With a hop and a skip and a whole load of luck
I've just hit the net and won the world cup

I could hear from distance someone shouting at me
It was my Ma saying "wake up, its time for your tea"
I opened my eyes to see my own room
Looks like I am the worst dreamer in Toon

Better luck next time

Martin ( the crazy dreamer)